Life at 39 Years Old

I turned 39 yesterday. When I tucked Hailey in the night before she looked at me with that sweet, expectant smile and...

Life at 39 Years Old

I turned 39 yesterday. When I tucked Hailey in the night before she looked at me with that sweet, expectant smile and asked “are you excited?” I know they’ve been working hard to prep a dinner for me and the fact they’ve been working on planning and prepping for a couple days warms my heart, so of course I replied with an enthusiastic “absolutely!” Gosh, I love my people.

And I was excited. In many ways a Tuesday birthday turning 39 doesn’t lend itself to a lot of whimsy, but I did schedule a facial using a gift card mom gave me at Christmas. I also love the mental load I take off of myself on my birthday. It’s my own personal “I can do what I want” day! Though “what I want” gets about as wild as buying a new fall doormat after the facial then heading back home in time for piano lessons.

However David and the girls went above and beyond with making me feel special. The kids and I spent the afternoon outside on a walk and playing basketball (in full transparency this was to break up a sibling squabble and like it always does, fresh air did the trick!), then a game of my choice (Rummikub).

They planned a surprise dinner, baked a cake, and H and K even set up a treasure hunt with clues that included a 10 minute massage. There were a lot of giggles and dinner was great; they really made it such a special Tuesday.

Gosh I love life right now. The people I love are well, so how could I not be? It’s something I’ll never take for granted again after spending over two years with the weight of wondering how dad was going to feel when he woke up each morning. I listened to an old voicemail he left me on a morning walk the other day and my heart ached and rejoiced to hear him say “hello my darling daughter.” I miss him.

I also feel excitement in the air. After 2020 derailed so much of life for so many, including us with Grandma and Dad dying, two house contracts falling through, and of course, the global pandemic, David and I have been dreaming again. More conversations with more concrete visions. For me, a big part of happiness is something to look forward to. Who knows, maybe we’ll be celebrating my 40th next year in Europe?! Travel certainly tops our vision board.

I don’t want to feel forced to have some deep reflective post on celebrating another birthday, but turning a year older (as arbitrary as it may be) always causes me to pause and reflect on life, at least a little bit. It’s like a personal new year. So, let’s do a quick check in…

Mentally… I’m really good right now. I’m happy. I notice the passage of time more, after all my oldest just turned 11! But I’m using it as an opportunity to notice the goodness in our everyday lives and not sweat the small stuff (like sibling quarrels) rather than dwelling on it.

I’m more comfortable in my own skin. I’m decorating the house in ways that make me happy; not what the latest trends dictate. I cancelled my rent the runway monthly service and have ordered some items that I know I like to wear most- t-shirts, jeans, and flowing floral dresses. I’m as curious as ever about learning and understanding how other people view the world but also continuing to grow more confident in knowing who I am.

Physically… I’m comfortable in my body. I feel strong thanks to strength workouts and eating more protein. I get outside and walk more thanks to Finley and the morning sunlight treats me well. I need to work on flexibility because I can totally feel that if I don’t use it, I’ll lose it quickly at this age and stage.

I’m not wild about my skin right now (thus why facial trumped massage for my gift card). There are increasing wrinkles, yes, but I feel like my skin’s texture is just kind of blah, though the facial helped a lot! I don’t want to wear much makeup so I really want my skin to glow. I think I need to be more committed to exfoliation, but have my ears open for recommendations from anyone that knows skincare well!

Goals… I’m lit up inside with goals. I am working on a project for this space, but also with ideas and support for our rental properties. We have two short term rentals that we’ve really enjoyed managing and have learned SO much over the past 1.5 years, especially David who has devised systems and aligned technological services to make it for streamlined. I have a feeling this next year is going to be an exciting one for us and I look forward to sharing the journey.

Yesterday was the first birthday in years that I haven’t cried. I’m not exactly sure why it was different, but perhaps a combination of zero expectations, being in a good spot in life, and family and friends reaching out and sharing their loving messages did the trick. It was a good day and a kick off to what I expect to be a really great year.

Thank you for being here; you bring me a lot of joy in this space and it’s an honor to continue to get to share life (and dinner) with you. I did some Q&A on Instagram recently and was amazed at how many of us have been hanging out here since the old school days of blogging… that’s over a decade! Makes me want to plan some giant hangout for all us OGs; wouldn’t that be fun?! Anyway, thank you. It’s an honor to have a connection with you through this space for so many years, through the ups and downs, missteps and triumphs. It means a lot to me that you make my blog a part of your day. <3